I've a fantastic friend who definitely matches the definition of AFC. In his twenties, he's still a virgin, after kissed a woman (one of his proudest stories), and always moans about how girls"always go for the douchebags who do not care for them". But by far and away the biggest thing which marks him out as an AFC to me is the fact that he feels constantly compelled to shield women in conditions where they are not receiving any insult or threat. We predict the need to'shield' girls white knight syndrome, and regrettably, I tend to meet a lot of white knights.
Once I flirt, I tend to keep my conversations challenging for both parties; being accepting and jokingly insulting in equal amount. This, one evening, saw me call a girl a"drunk bitch" because she dropped over and slurred her words (that this type of language was by no means different from the way her and me talked to each other). My friend, misguided because he was, felt forced to stand up and say to all in the room"Now [my title ]! That's a very rude thing to say to her" . Everyone went quiet and looked at him for a moment, until the woman on the ground thankfully broke the silence instead beautifully by crying"Yeah [my title ] don't be a whore!" . Normality restored. After the party I took my friend aside and explained to him exactly what he had been doing wrong and it made women believe that he was bizarre. So here's a short version of the white knight talk. It's Sexist
Our ideas of knighthood and chivalry derive from an age where guys were infinitely stronger than women, and thus chivalry encouraged men to assist those who weren't in charge of their lives. By jumping into defend a woman's'honor' now (particularly without requesting her), you're making the assumption that she can't help herself. Let her call out a man if he's being a dickhead. It's Creepy
Do you know who the two biggest groups of people in the world who concerned with women's honor are? The very religious, and also the'nice guys'. Incidentally neither of these groups receive a lot of action outside of wedlock. By obsessing over the reputation or struggles (perceived or real) of a woman who is not your friend or lover, you are demonstrating a very suggestive interest in her. Be a person and show your interest . It Is Your Problem
If you're bravely jumping to the aid of some damsel, you almost definitely have not ceased to consider whether she finds it to be an issue. To intervene would be to enforce your ego on her, as you don't know if she discovers what was stated offensive. In fact all it really does is jak poderwac dziewczyne ktora nie jest toba zainteresowana tell everyone that you are uncomfortable with the word'bitch' (such as ).
You will find Cooler Ways to do it
In this postmodern, cynical era, no one stands up and straight up calls people out on their defects in front of others. If you aren't an idiot, you don't do this by standing up and stating to the interloper"Look guy, your presence is making this woman feel uneasy and she is not interested in you." Even when you are right in saying something like this, you can certainly do it with much more class and much more subtlety. For example (going back to the my knight encounter ) you can simply say over the shoulder something along the lines of"Can you kiss your mom with that mouth?" And then move the dialogue on. Attempt to be slick guys.
What to do
These three attitude changes should enable you to avoid white knight behaviour. Like the Player
Among the first things that you need to do is to hear what men say to women and try to figure out whether it is a misguided effort at being emotional genius. Even if it is contrary to your friend or spouse, good game is good game, and you'll be able to learn a lot from observing prior to acting. If a guy says something that amuses your internal knight, pause. The first thing you should do is to give him respect for trying to say something that risks a negative reaction. That is something which the vast majority of the social cattle around you'll never attempt in the course of their life. Be Edgy
On that note, you want to understand what makes a good edgy line if you would like to call people out for using bad ones. Exercise adding a little spice into your discussions: all you need to do is ask why somebody believes something, or disagree with them on a minor point, that's usually sufficient to generate a little pleasurable friction. Come to appreciate that look on a woman's face when she's snapped from automatic conversation mode because you didn't follow the conventional routine of considerate arrangement. A dialog is much nicer when both parties have to consider what they're saying.
3.
Like the Women
Finally you have to understand that girls are (deservedly) in charge of their own lives, and that it has taken a very long time to get there. This is the very best thing that could have occurred to the dating game, as it make guys just like you and I become better individuals so that we're appealing to girls (as opposed to back in the day when women were considered as talking property, you didn't have to be a terrific man back then). You have to play these new rules and accept that it is up to the girl whether to be offended or not, and to choose if your aid is necessary. Focus on your personal game buddy.